2024 changed my life, but now I can’t wait to see what ‘The Traitors’ will do next

Hello, Rolling Stone UK readers – and a very Merry Christmas to you all.

As you’re reading this, we’re just a day away from my Christmas Eve appearance on Celebrity Mastermind where I’ll be grilled about Ricky Gervais’ After Life. That’s a mental sentence and one I wouldn’t have dared to imagine twelve months ago. Me? Celebrity Mastermind? Sitting in the iconic black chair and facing off against Clive Myrie?

But that sums up my 2024, I suppose, which unsurprisingly has been the best year of my life. In January I went on The Traitors and became the first great telly villain of 2024. I was a proper conniving bastard, right up until the moment when I was ousted at the Round Table and delivered the bow which launched a thousand memes, kicking off my year of madness. I’ve had a shout out from Matty Healy during a 1975 gig at The O2, I’ve scrubbed up for the BAFTAs, and even launched a podcast with my fellow Traitor, Harry.

I’ve loved every single moment of it and it was topped off by welcoming Cooper, mine and my partner Kate’s second son in November.

But enough about me. You’re here for opinions on season three of The Traitors and I’ve got a fair few thoughts about what I want from 2025’s crop of Faithfuls and, well, soon to be devious Traitors.

Firstly, I think it’s got the potential to be better than our year. Claudia [Winkleman] has said that there’s going to be some big twists to the game and that makes me think they’ll up the ante like never before. There’s going to be even more knitwear for Claudia, I reckon, and they’re going to have to make something even more camp than that funeral scene. How could they possibly top it? Well, that was a death, so they’re going to have to do a birth aren’t they? Come to think of it, that could be quite a nice way of bringing a murdered player back into the game.

I want it to be wilder, too. More creepy games in the middle of the night and even more banishments where those involved lose every inch of their shit. I remember when they finally sussed me out and honestly, the noise in that room. Claudia’s little shoulders went up, everyone roared and Jaz, my fellow contestant, lobbed a chair against the wall. I hope they bloody charged him for that. So more of that, please.

They’ve also done so well in avoiding casting people who have gone in for fame and fortune. I’ve done quite well off the back of it, but I just read American Psycho on the train up to the castle and I just went in there wanting to be like Patrick Bateman. That was all I wanted to do. I’d even go back to my lodgings every night and write down my potential responses to other contestants for the following day. Stuff like that keeps you in the game.

And ultimately, I just want to pass the villain baton down and I want the cast of season three to be even more destructive and scheming than we were. And maybe throw in a few more blowout arguments too.

Oh, and if you happen to be a Season Three contestant reading this, just imagine you’re at the top of the biggest roller coaster in the world and multiply that feeling by ten. That’s the ride you’re about to go on when the show airs. It’s going to be absolutely wild and if you’re a Traitor prepare to get a bit of stick – even if it’s just from people getting stuck into the show. You’ll get love and hate, but embrace all of it, because ultimately it means you are connecting with people, you’re making people feel at home and you are being entertaining.

Just get ready for a wild ride, your lives are about to change. Let the games begin…