Ushuaïa Ibiza Beach Hotel– Ibiza’s perfect 72 hour escape

Barely 30 minutes after we have stepped off the plane, onto the tarmac and got through immigration we arrive at Ushuaïa Ibiza Beach Hotel. It’s been a hectic summer (it always is, right?) and between the UK festival season and the 9-5 of work, we’ve been gagging to get away to ‘the island’ before the summer season taps out.

In an effort to simplify our misadventures, we’ve checked into The Tower at Ushuaïa, the floral covered white hotel that peers across Ibiza’s buzzing Playa d’en Bossa, a short ten minutes cab ride from the airport. Three nights on the White Island is not enough to do it all, but in the right place and in the right location, it’s more than enough to leave you satisfied. 

Following a swift check in and freshen-up in our suite, we are stretched out on the sunbeds of the hotel’s The Beach restaurant, sipping margaritas while picking at the 20 piece sushi mix of tempura futomaki, sashimi mix and sushi tacos. Four margs deep, we peel ourselves off the beds and make our way up to our ‘Anything Can Happen’ suite – their name for it, not mine!

The south-west facing balcony on the eighth floor boasts a view of the beach that stretches out to the forests around Torres de ses Portes. We pop open a bottle of champagne and enjoy a chilled glass as the sun blazes orange-red, catching the last of the golden hour light before the sun drops behind the hills.

Dinner that night is at Minami, a Japanese restaurant part of the Ushuaïa complex. The low ceilings, dark wood, red interiors and gently flowing water feature that wends its way through the restaurant make for an intimate cocoon from the mayhem on the streets of Bossa mere metres away. We peruse the menu over a lychee margarita and settle on the contemporary moriawase sushi, a selection of traditional Japanese sashimi, nigiri and uramaki fused with modern and local flavours.

From our table by the window, we watch the crowd roll into weekly Saturday session ANTS, the original at Ushuaïa club event that helped put the brand on the map when it launched in 2013.

It’s a short stroll back out on the road and into ANTS where the club is in full motion. Flames explode from the immense structure that towers over the DJ booth and into the dancefloor – the biggest in the club’s history – as lasers project through the smoke. The heavy beats of Andrea Oliva spin out as the crowd – thousands deep – erupts in waves of appreciation. It’s wild mass of people – from the outrageously OTT to girl next door vibes, the energy levels are in any case unrelenting.

As the premiere day party location on the island, Ushuaïa this year boasted one if its strongest lineups yet. Either side of ANTS, Calvin Harris headlines Fridays with Armin Van Buuren on Sundays, while Defected set-up base at the club making Tuesday throb nicely to its slick house sounds. As the last record plays out at ANTS, there’s no need to scramble for a cab as the crowd migrates across to Hï, where Black Coffee has landed for the season, taking over Saturday nights.

As we decide to eventually call an end to our night out, we wander across the road, up the tower and into our suite. Fully aware that this is Ibiza – and where the club ends, the night will usually continue – Ushuaïa’s suites are designed with the post-party clientele in mind… the rooms are spacious and open-plan, while the vast bed feels like a hug from a giant ball of cotton. The 24 hour room service is also a welcome respite after a heavy night out, and we indulge to soak up the booze.

The hangover the next morning is surprisingly mild, so we grab a coffee and light bite for breakfast at The Beach before strolling down to Playa Soleil – a sister venue to the Ushuaïa – where we plant ourselves on a huge day bed and melt in the sun. An afternoon of snoozing and sipping on margaritas slips into the early evening.

That night, we have a table reserved at Montauk Steakhouse Ibiza on the hotel’s ground floor. Starters of Black Angus tenderloin carpaccio dressed with pistachio pesto, basil pearls and beet coral and the Mexican-style spicy prawns with guajillo chili tease our tastebuds, before we go heavy on the mains.

We’ve opted for the Montauk steak tasting menu, which is a tad over ambitious, maybe, but we’re on holiday, so f*ck it. Boasting a magnificent range of beef from cuts with low fat content (phew) to more intense flavours and varying textures, it’s a formidable challenge of a feast that we embrace.

We wander back up to the suite to put our feet up and let the food settle some, before we neck a couple shots and switch up our looks before we head out across the road to Hï for Glitterbox. In the main theatre, Horse Meat Disco and Masters at Work deliver a masterclass in underground, classic and new disco. As our night wraps, we head back out (across the road and up the tower) to our suite and slip into bed.

The next day, we check out and catch some extra rays of sunshine by the pool before our transfer whisks us to the airport. Come Tuesday morning, I’m at my desk in the office slightly fuzzy-headed, but nonetheless buzzed from a brief – but necessary – escapade.

On a tight schedule, with little time to be worried about long taxi journeys to traverse the island, Ushuaïa Ibiza Beach Hotel offers the perfect short jaunt from which to experience the best of Ibiza in a 200metre radius. As clubbing goes, it’s the smoothest road to a (mild) come down you could ask for.