Poppy Ajudha: ‘I’m always learning so much about who I am’

‘I feel like I’m baring my soul when I write a song,” explains Poppy Ajudha on a rainy morning in early May. It’s the kind of grey, deadbeat weather that seems at odds with Ajudha’s upcoming album later this year, which is packed with colour and emotion at every turn. 

While the title rightfully reflects the fact that this is a forward-facing record, it’s also one that employs slinky R&B and all-out pop to tell Ajudha’s tales of life in all its forms — both the highs and the lows.  

As she explains, it’s all part of a drive to deliver music that is “empowering and that encourages you to go for what you want in life”. 

So, how’s everything going in the world of Poppy Ajudha?  

I’ve just had therapy this morning. I felt like I could stop for a bit, but a lot of artists I’ve spoken to have said that when touring and promo is around the corner it feels like, ‘Shit, it’s gonna ramp up in life,’ and that’s the time they need to go through it. I need to be in the best place possible before I can go out and do that. 

Congratulations on the album. It’s a record that feels very much in the pop world, but there’s a dimension of soul in there too. What’s the overarching story of this record? 

I think it has a lot of the themes that are very genuine to me and what I love to talk about in terms of my future. I can make music that’s empowering and that enables you to go for what you want in life and encourages you to be your authentic self. 

Where does that sense of empowerment and authenticity come from? Is that something you’ve always achieved yourself? 

Being authentic, being raw, being honest, living exactly as you are is something that most people will work on their whole life. I think it’s hard to be born and allowed to exist in that way. Especially with intersectionality as well, you exist in a way that is oppressed. Even if that isn’t the case, you might be non-neurotypical and taught to exist in a way that doesn’t fit anyone. You have to unlearn all of the defence mechanisms you now have in order to work through your childhood trauma. 

I’ve always been someone that has been very outspoken, very opinionated, and very outgoing. It’s not been hard for me to exist as myself, but I feel like I’m always learning so much about who I am and why I am and who I want to be. 

I’m a very self-reflective person and I want to be the best version of myself for other people as well. So, it just feels like a constant process, and I think with this album particularly, it’s almost like I worked out so much about myself during that process. It was much more vulnerable and much more introspective. I talked a lot about my actual relationships and my friendships and my own personal growth. 

It’s an album of great variety. There are slower, jazzier numbers and upbeat pop moments too. Did you always want to bring that to the table?  

I just make what I love and music that speaks to the storyline of the song. So, for example, ‘Crossroads’ stylistically is quite different to the rest of the album. Writing-wise, the piano, the strings, the vocal melodies all lent themselves to telling the story. And that’s all I care about. How do I communicate how I felt, how I feel, where I was? How do I take you there in that three minutes or whatever that you’re listening to the song? I don’t care about anything else but transporting you in that moment. 

I think, stylistically, obviously the songs are varied, but they all speak to a version of me and they gel together with my vocal and my style of singing. 

I’ve just never felt bound to a certain style. It doesn’t make sense to me at all. It feels like a modern thing as well. I love a lot of styles. I listen to a lot of varying music. I think this album falls under the pop umbrella in all the songs, but instrumentally there are differences. 

Taking it back to the start, what was your first musical experience?  

I have been singing for as long as forever. In fact, my parents would say I was going to be a singer because I had the most high-pitched scream of any baby, and everyone was like, ‘She’s going to be a singer.’ The only way to stop me screaming was for everyone to sing over me. When I was older, I started writing poems to try and make sense of the workings of my world. 

And I was obsessed with Britney Spears — I used to listen on my dad’s Walkman. I then started writing songs and exploring that. My sisters were in a band, and I thought that was really cool. I would steal their guitar when they were out and write songs on it and not tell anyone. It was always a very personal thing — songwriting is a very personal thing for me. I feel like I’m baring my soul when I write a song, and that’s when it feels scary. Often that’s the most powerful song. You feel like you’re saying something that you shouldn’t be saying or that you don’t want someone to hear. I think that’s when you’re truly being honest with yourself too. Songwriting has always been that for me. 

What was your earliest memory of performing?  

I was talking to my mum about this the other day. I’m from New Cross in south-east London and I used to play on the trains with my guitar, which I wouldn’t be brave enough to do now. I put my first headline show on at the New Cross Inn, and Tom Misch was playing guitar as support. We were not old enough to be in there, but I had my newly formed band, and that was the first step in trying to be an artist, in putting myself out there and playing my songs, working out how to lead a band.  

Finally, who are your musical heroes?  

I love Rosalía. I’m a huge fan of the way she is creatively — so authentic and so emotional at the same time. She makes commercial music but doesn’t lose any of the emotion. Visually, she’s incredible too. I love her work. I also love James Blake and I love Beyoncé. I love anything that crosses over between that pop and R&B world the most, and everybody has a different song, which is a good thing.

Taken from the August/September issue of Rolling Stone UK – you can buy it here now.